Drum Circle!

Today was the most AMAZING THING HAPPENED EVARRR OMG!!

RAs put on monthly programs to benefit the residents of the building. Typically these programs have an educational or social theme to them. This month, my program was a Drum Circle! With help and funding from Community Government, I got my friend and teacher Matt Savage, the UNC Marching Percussion instructor and nationally known drum guru, to lead a drum circle with residents. We set out about thirty chairs, and Matt brought enough drums and other percussion for upwards of sixty or seventy. He brought everything from djembes to cowbells to paddle drums to tambourines - it was incredible. Everybody had a great time letting loose! We estimated that within an hour of drum circle, between seventy and a hundred people played drums at any point (many people stopped by for a few minutes and left), and just as many or even more enjoyed the music and danced from the building. A lot of people showed up, including a reporter from the Daily Tar Heel.

That's Matt in the center. I'm in the bright yellow shirt and

light blue hat on the bottom part of the circle, on the outer row.

This was super exciting to me because the reaction was so absolutely positive. Many of the Community Government members and other RAs told me this was the best turnout to a program they had seen! I think that what added to the program's success was it's easy-going and loud nature. People walking from Ram's Head to any other south campus dorm passed us, and could join if they wanted to. It was so epic.

After the drum circle was over, I went up to Matt to thank him for putting on such an awesome event. I was so overwhelmed with the success of the event that I could barely even say anything; I think I said "Thank you so much for.... that was.... I just... I'm soo.....ecstatic that I can't... I can't even make good sentences!!!"

What was amazing to me was how everybody knew exactly what to do once they got started. Yeah, people were shy, but once they started playing, the rhythm took over. Everyone was able to find and keep the beat. Even with so many people playing, the music didn't rush or drag. Matt did a great job of communicating with the group what to play, even though he never actually explained what he meant. For example, when Matt jumped, everyone knew to hit the drum really loudly - he never explained, everybody just knew. As a 'grand finale,' Matt had everybody stand up and come into the center while drumming - it was this intense jumble of human connection, because people in the group didn't necessarily know each other, but all were contributing to the same music. It was such an exhilarating experience not only to be a part of but also to be able to put that on. I hope there's a next time!

Where the Wild Thangs At?

Fall break is this weekend, and I've got fun stuff to report!

Thursday was the first full day of break, and it was spent almost entirely with the marching band. I woke up about half an hour late (again) to a distressed call from my section captain and close fraternity brother, Dave. I got there in time for the sound-check in the stadium, which consisted of standing in place while the sound technician got things set up for the band, Liquid Pleasure, that we were backing up at half-time.

Afterwards, my buddy Schmitty came over and helped me loft my bed. We put the mattress just as high as it would go! See, I hope to counter my oversleeping problem by hiding my bed from myself. I rearranged my desk and drums and other stuff in a very space-efficient way. I also discovered how to plug my amp directly into my computer for recording purposes... do you see as much potential as I do?!? Exciting things to come.

After that I went to the football game, which went fine. ESPN was filming the game and I almost (did) missed a step-off watching the spider-like Skycam gizmo zip over my head! The half-time show was pretty cool, we hosted the Chapel-Hill rooted band Liquid Pleasure. They're a party band that's made it pretty big along the East Coast, and have been around for almost thirty years. They did vocals while we played the rest, and it was a pretty good show. They came out in Carolina Blue sequin coats, which was simultaneously awesome and comical! Oh yeah, and there was football there, too. It was a really good game... for the other team. I don't really know first hand what happened because - let's face it - I'm only there for the band! Yeah.

The next day (Friday) my bed proved successful, as I forgot to turn off my 8:00 alarm: I stayed up since getting back in bed would be more effort than it was worth. I had a nice, uneventful day... I went to Ye Olde Waffle Shoppe, a place I'd wanted to go for a long time with another RA, Anish. I went to the gym for like the third time in my life ever with Bruce, after which we met up with Noah and a guy I hadn't met before to eat at [B]Ski's, where I proceeded to make lame jokes to the waitress.

Mom picked me up that night and we checked into a hotel in Raleigh. We were going to go camping, but the weather was just too depressing for that. Today (by which I mean Saturday) we spent the day at the NC Museum of Natural Science, which was AWESOME!! I LOVE going to museums with Mom, we're both as nerdy as a high-school science teacher and her offspring!

Oh wait...

CROSASAURUS REX ATTACK, AAAGGHHHH!!!!!

Before we went to the Museum, we went to this awesome place called Big Ed's, where I drank a bit too much coffee (it was sooo good!) At the museum this made my tics rather strong. I was a little nervous with all the little kids around for two reasons; either a rare coprolalic outburst would create a very awkward situation, or - more likely - I would whack one of them in the face with my audio-tour! No worries though, the angst of the TS was far outweighed by the sheer magnitude of visiting a huge science museum with Mom! Did I mention she's a high-school science teacher?

After the museum, we decided to go relive a bit of my childhood by going to see Where the Wild Things Are (spoilers ahead). It started out fine, by showing a harsh reality that the protagonist (Max) lived in. There was perhaps a bit too much with this reality - a stressed out single mother with a boyfriend who didn't know when to keep out of a tense family moment, an apathetic sister hanging out with like, four dudes... yeah. So whatever, I was waiting for the good part where he hangs out with all the Wild Things. After a terrifying (yet clearly imagined) boat-trip to the island, Max encounters a group of Wild Things who are frustrated with their current situation. They make him his king, everything seems close to the book, and I'm getting excited with this real-life rendition of happy childhood memories. Unfortunately it took a really dark turn and instead of being an imaginative escapist delight, it became a chilling reminder that human faults and imperfections are inescapable, even in one's own imagination. The book ended with things wrapping up in a positive ending, but the movie ended with things in a pile of depressing loose ends. After the movie, Mom and I went to Borders to read the real book again and restore my childhood.

So after our adventures in Raleigh, mom and I took a trip by the Food Lion to get some ice cream (which we devoured at the hotel) and now she's asleep and I'm blogging. Tomorrow we're planning on going to a state park or something along those lines to make some of the camping food that she brought but that we ended up not using. I'm really happy now, things are going well.

Thanks for reading!

Me

Performance Concept

In the traditional performance context, a performer plays a piece of music to a large audience. Because of the nature of the concert venue, part of the meaning of the song could be lost. For example if the song is about love, the audience can appreciate the song that the performer's playing and even sympathize with the feelings expressed. However, it is unlikely that either the performer or the audience is literally experiencing what the song is about as it is being performed. I would like to propose two changes to this model while specifically leaving others the same. This is an idea I've been tinkering with for a while and would like to experiment a little bit.

First, instead of playing to a large, possibly anonymous audience (from the perspective of the performer), I want to reduce the audience size to one, two at the very most. This way the connection between the performer and the listener is exponentially more intimate. There would be a higher pressure on the musician, while the listener would appreciate the music so much more as it is intended only for them.

Second, instead of the audience and performer sitting together simply listening to the set that the performer has planned, the performer plans the set around what they anticipate the audience member doing at the time. The music will serve as a 'live soundtrack' so to speak. Put in context, the music would have a much greater meaning than if taken out of context. An example of this would be playing music while somebody is falling asleep, walking to class, or driving in the car.

This is different than just playing songs for somebody while they happen to be in the car or falling asleep. The songs are planned, practiced, and arranged ahead of time to give a unique performance. Ideally, the audience member would forget the individual who is performing and appreciate the music in that context. In that sense, it is like a traditional concert because the personal elements of the performer are overcome by the persona of the performance.

I think I've jumbled a bunch of confusing ideas together here, so let me explain in a nutshell. I'll use the falling asleep example, because that's the most relevant to me. I would plan out and practice certain songs to play (on guitar) and sing to somebody as they're falling asleep. The room and the person falling asleep would be part of the art in itself. If all goes as planned, the audience member would be asleep before the end of the performance. Then, the performer would pack up and leave without a word. If the two people involved wanted to discuss the performance, it would be the next day and not immediately afterwards.

What do ya think?

Homework Frustration

So it's 4:30AM, and I have a confirmed case of "Sundaynightitis," meaning I doodled around all through last week and this weekend and now I have to stay up late to get it all done in time. Oops, it happens. I'm still having trouble with my sleep schedule, I'm going to really focus on that this week. Goal: get to bed at 11:45 every night, and be up and OUT OF BED by 7:30 AM.

I just finished a take-home music theory exam. It's mainly on chromatic modulations through various keys. It's really cool to type the progressions out on the computer and hear what they sound like. It's awesome to have the power to whip through tonalities like it's no big deal - it sounds so fluid and carefree but there's so much work that goes into writing these progressions. It's awesome!

Unfortunately my TS is very present at the moment. I'm very aware of the fact that while most people in my current situation would be fighting only sleep to get their work done, but my battle is with simply staying still. My muscles are getting achy teeth are beginning to hurt from all the pressure I keep putting on them. My tics have been following a pattern where I'll go dormant for a half a second: my eyes close and I can't move anything. It's the calm before the storm; then a completely unpredictable tic rips through my body. Sometimes it's a (relatively) simple body jerk, sometimes my body heaves and it feels like I'm going to throw up!

A few hours ago I went to Abby, my RA Mentor, to calm down a little bit and relieve some stress. I hung out with her and another RA for a while, laughing and having a good time. It really helped to have a break like that! I love where I live and the people around me, I can't imagine it any other way.

After finishing my Music Exam I thought I'd write a little bit about what's going on before finishing up my Computer Programming, which explains this post. Anyway, I have a few things to write about once I get caught up with work, so more to come soon. Shalom!

The Next Day

I've got some good followup on my last post, as well as a little bit of clarification.

Now that my room is back in order and I've got an organized living space, I feel confident in picking up and going. I feel much more stable in daily life, waking up on time and getting to sleep at a reasonable hour. I would liken it to a stumble - you're off balance for a bit and it's not looking good, but then you quickly get your footing again and keep going. Remember that step I talked about in My Tourette's History Part III? I feel that I'm still going in that same direction. I'm not sure I can describe what direction I'm going in, or how to truly describe it if I did know.

One thing that I do know is that I'm in a new stage of life in terms of living and coping with my Tourette's. I feel more comfortable with who I am, and I feel less of a need to tell everybody and inform everybody and talk about it all the damn time. In fact, today I got a haircut. This may not seem significant, but for someone who moves their head spastically at unpredicted times, haircuts are rather intimidating! Today was the first time I got a haircut (done by somebody other than my mother) without warning the barber unnecessarily about my TS. In the past it hasn't really done anything other than confuse the person and it doesn't really do much to prevent the haircut from tic interference. Today, I didn't feel like telling the guy, so I didn't! It all worked out fine, except that I'm not really sure I like the haircut itself, because it kinda reminds me of the redneck guys from back home. The moral of that story is that old dudes are supposed to cut other old dudes's hair (I was the only one in there who wasn't balding). Women know what look good on men, and are more likely to deliver a good-looking hair cut. Or at least, that's my inference based on a single experience. Haircut:

As for the clarifaction of IFS4Y Day. CuteWithChris.com is a favorite blog of mine. He generally posts user-submitted pictures of themselves and their pets, as well as uploading a video update every so often. It's hard to describe really, because it's his somewhat cynical and snarky humor applied to various things that makes it so great. You should def check it out, although watch his YouTube videos first because they're more entertaining.

Often times people send him pictures of them after they hurt themselves or something along those lines, hoping for him to display their pictures out of pity. When people send him stuff like that, he generally makes fun of them and reminds them that International Feel Sorry For Yourself Day isn't until May 11th. In the video I linked, he starts complaining about his show, cuts himself off and says "Oh! I forgot - save it for International Feel Sorry For Yourself Day!" I included this reference in my last post sort of as a reminder to myself to stop worrying about it, because it's not May 11th! It's unnacceptable to feel sorry for yourself - unless, of course, it's International Feel Sorry For Yourself Day!!!

System Reset

Hello friends, I haven't posted in a while!

I've had a lot going on in my personal and academic life lately. I've been skipping classes, not doing homework, staying awake when I should be sleeping and sleeping when I shouldn't, and now that I think about it I haven't been eating on a regular schedule, either. An issue that's kept me offline is that my computer is all screwy, and even though Dell has replaced pretty much every functional piece of equipment, it's still acting up. They're sending a replacement computer, but apparently it will take "7 to 14 business days" to show up - great!

I guess you could say I am working on developing myself as an individual and establishing my sense of emotional independence. Sadly this involved splitting up with Charlene, but I have to take care of myself before I can truly care for somebody else. She has also taken the time to develop herself, which is something that is very relieving for me to know. I have set up a thing with Campus Counseling and Wellness Services to help me achieve this goal, and I look forward to living the future relatively on my own.

This weekend, as a symbolic gesture for my rearranging and restructuring my life, I felt the need to totally reorganize my living area. My first attempt at this fung-schway (spelled incorrectly as a joke)was largely unsuccessful in that I got my room torn apart just enough to realize that it would be a two-person job to finish or put it back. I was stuck with my room a total mess; not what I had in mind for restructuring my personal life! Tonight (four days after I tore up my room) various fraternity brothers stopped by to help me move things around and clean out all the junk that's piled up since I first moved in in May. That in itself seems to be foreshadowing for the future.

Well, dear Internet, I hear my newly repositioned bed calling my name. I have an early class tomorrow that I'd rather not go to (sorry Lisa!) and other things to get done. I know International Feel Sorry For Yourself Day (IFS4Y Day)isn't until May 12, so I hope this post isn't an early celebration; I've had a lot on my mind, and I know that my dear friend the Internet is always there to listen.

Cheers,
Michael