Camp Twin Lakes XV

Camp Twitch and Shout left today. A lot of them were crying as left the friends they had made and ventured back into the real world where tics weren't the normal thing anymore. I welled up a little bit too, as kid after kid came up to me saying how awesome of a time they had at camp. Now that I have some time, I want to write about some stories from camp that really stuck with me.

One of the kids in the cabin I was hanging out with was Holden, who I mentioned in an earlier post. Holden was a little different than most, it seemed like his parents had a very intolerant view towards his Tourette's because he continuously apologized for his tics and had a few other strange attitudes towards it. Holden did not seem to be aware of religious diversity in the world, because one day he began talking about religion with his favorite counselor, Jimmy. Jimmy was trying to avoid the subject and yet be honest. After Holden realized that Jimmy's beliefs were not the same as his own, he asked "If you're not Christian, then what are you?" to which Jimmy answered "Well Holden... I'm Jewish." Holden held it in for a while, but began to break down as soon as Jimmy left the room. Another counselor, Zack, tried to console by explaining to him that Jesus was Jewish, which further confused Holden and his religious identity. By the time I entered the scene, Holden was ticcing the word "CHRISTIAN" very loudly and almost painfully in the cabin. It was hard to tell if it was a tic or a strange sort of plea. Holden found a closet and shut himself inside it - Zack and I let him be for a while. He also started ticcing the words "JIMMY" and "PEANUT BUTTER." It's uncommon for tics to directly relate to what the ticcer is sad or upset about, but it Holden was clearly upset about things both religious and culinary. Zack got the rest of the cabin playing a round of Apples to Apples while I went to Holden's closet.

I opened the door and found him sitting - he was crying loudly and asked for his parents. After many attempts to change the subject, I told him I was kind of hungry and would like to sneak an ice cream sandwich from the dining hall and would like some company. He agreed, and off we went. We walked in silence most of the way, and as soon as we left the cabin he didn't have any of the afore mentioned tics. We made our way to the dining hall where I deftly scooped two ice-cream sammies out of the freezer without any other campers seeing. Holden and I left the building and walked towards archery. Here's what the conversation was like:

"What's been your favorite part of camp, Holden?"
"Tourette's."

"Yeah it's good to be around people like you."

"Yeah."

"Tell me about your life, man. Tell me about you."
"Well... I like... I don't like my Tourette's. I like video games."

"Me too, Holden."

After a long pause, he said: "Thanks for being my friend."

And with that, we turned around and went back to the cabin. We didn't talk about Jimmy, or Jesus, or anything really. It was just being there that helped Holden calm down.

The next day, I was reading the Sungrams during the camp news. Sungrams are little messages campers can write to one another for encouragement or compliments. I was getting towards the end of the Sungrams when I got to one in particularly scribbled handwriting. I made eye contact with Jimmy, then the slightly strange but heartfelt message:

"To Jimmy from Holden. You are a good friend. You are like my dad."

The next story took place on the very last day up on the ropes course. We had a cabin of 15 and 16 year old girls doing the high team challenge, which is a team-building challenge that we can send up to eight campers and/or counselors on at a time, thirty-five feet up in the air. One girl in this group named Emma seemed to be having a particularly hard time with her tics. She kept making a big deal of it though, apologizing and saying something about each one to the group.

"CHICKEN TERIYAKI PENIS! ooh, that was kinda strange. ORANGE JUICE CUM! Yeah, didn't mean that one..." and so on. When we were clipping her into the ropes course, she said she was worried that she would have a tic to unclip her crab claws (the device connecting the harness to the safety cable) or jump off the platform. The counselors were devided; a couple knew she was doing it for attention, while the other CTL facilitator was giving in, asking the girl if she would be safe up there or if maybe she shouldn't go. I knew what was going on, so I told the other facilitator it was fine and we sent the girl up. It took her about twenty minutes to get up the cargo net, a feat which takes most kids - even kids with tics worse than hers - about two or three. She sat on the platform at the top and waited for the rest of the cabin to get up. While she was up there, she had a few tics that made her jump off the platform (a few kids actually had that throughout the week) but don't worry, she was clipped in and perfectly safe. We got the cabin up there and began the activity, to walk across suspended pieces of wood while the group held hands in a circle. Emma began to talk about 'what if she got a tic and made people fall,' and began crying that people would get mad at her. I was starting to get very irritated, because at this point I could tell she was embellishing her Tourette's for attention and keeping the group from doing the activity big time. Instead of coddling her or taking her down, I told her to wait in the back with me while the other facilitator took the rest of the group. Emma sat patiently while the rest of the group went, and while she gave advice and direction to the rest of the group, she didn't have any major tics or issues. After the group was halfway across to the next platform, I sat down across from Emma, and thirty-five feet in the air I said to her:

"Okay, let's talk. I know tics, and you know tics. We both know that we can do certain things to make them worse. I'm calling your bluff, I don't think your tics are as bad as you're making them. You haven't had any tics since you've been up here that make me nervous about you being up here."

She got big eyes, and said "Are you saying I don't have tics?"

"Notice I said I haven't seen any tics that make me nervous about you being up here. This is Tourette's camp, I have Tourette's, and you can do this activity, there's no reason for you to be sitting out. In life, you have to work past the tics and live life not thinking about it. Once you overcome them, people will respect you for that and you'll be better for it. I know, because I have. It's hard, because as Touretters we're naturally obsessive. But as soon as that group gets to the next platform, I want you to go over and join them."

That was all that needed to be said. From then on, her tics were average, and she acted like a regular camper, not pleading for attention. She got across the ropes course, and she and I even went over one element together, holding on to each others shoulders. We talked about life, and she told me about how much positive she has gained from having Tourette's, OCD, ADHD, and a learning disability. It was a great moment, and I felt good about it because nobody else could have done that. Someone with Tourette's doesn't know what it feels like, and wouldn't have been able to call her out like I did.

That's it for tonight, it's getting really late. Don't worry though, I've got more about Camp Twitch and Shout to write about!